Thursday, February 7th 273/336 Shot #40

Once again I get to inject myself with insecticide. It’s OK as it’s #40 and I’ve done it before. I’m amazed at the many mood changes this crap puts my through on a daily basis. You can feel it try too drag you down into a deep depression, most of the time it loses, I guess it’s the prozac saving my ass. Anyone who gets through this process without going on AD’s is a better man/woman than I.

My sides are extreme fatigue, brain fog(who am I?) and chemo brain. Chemo brain is the feeling of the poisons attacking your brain. I’ve been doing this for 9 months and it is powerful stuff. The personality changes and the mental sides are the worst part of it for me. I feel nothing but humilty while projecting a strong sense of self rightousness (according to M). What I see is not what they get. JB says it best when he says, “Sometimes the spectators see more than the players” I don’t see the personality changes that others see. 2 more months and we’re done with it. This is a very tough treatment, for Laurie, Jonathan and Cindy, my friends who will be starting soon, Get in the best shape you can, go to the gym, do some aerobics, get your meds in order, hit the tx running, this shit is long and nasty.

All is well and by for now


I really want to be king!