I still see dead people. Last night I had an hour conversation with my old friend Joel Bridgman. I asked if anyone else could see him and he said no. It was good to see him. The beat goes on
All is well and by for now
Friday, February 29, 2008
Friday, February 29th 295/336
Horrible day today! Today was a new low for my body and mind, I never knew I could feel so terrible. Finally was able to get out of bed by 5pm and move to the couch, where I have been ever since and it is 9pm now. For dinner, the only thing my body could eat was bread with olive oil, which I had to force down my throat to take the pills. Eating has been the last thing on my mind, and everytime I have to put something in my mouth I feel like a forced fed goose. Nausea, fever and god knows what else…all day. Now I am watching “The Cuban Missle Crises,” remebering that on one of those days in 1962 I went to bed and thought I would not wake up due to nuclear attack.
I still see dead people. Last night I had an hour conversation with my old friend Joel Bridgman. I asked if anyone else could see him and he said no. It was good to see him. The beat goes on
All is well and by for now
I still see dead people. Last night I had an hour conversation with my old friend Joel Bridgman. I asked if anyone else could see him and he said no. It was good to see him. The beat goes on
All is well and by for now
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 28th 294/336 Shot #43
Today I went to the doctor for my 42 week appointment and I had to be there at 7:30. I was so stressed out about over sleeping that I woke up at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep.
As a result, I got there at 7:00 but they didn’t take me until 8:00 which was fine because I was able to read the paper and do the crossword puzzle. My nurse Ann has filed for an end to her 27 year marriage and she says her husband is bi-polar, aren’t we all! I decided she needed a little cheering up so I mentioned that if I wasn’t crazy about the woman I was with I would ask her out. Was I forward? Yes, did she appreciate it, yes again. Sometimes, a random act of kindness goes a long way.
The study I’m in has 6 people in my Gp’s practice participating. 2 on standard of care(me and another man), so far we are both clear. The study drug is given to the other 4 people. 3 for 48 weeks and one for 28 weeks. 28 weeks relapsed already and 2 of the 48 weekers are SVR at 12 weeks post tx and the last one is coming up on their 12 week PCR. Too bad about the 28 weeker relapsing, I was hoping for shorter treatment times down the road. It seems the Vertex study drug does well with a 24 week duration.
All 4 people getting the study drug required the rescue drug procrit. My hemoglobin is 12.6 so they say I’m one of the few in the study to go the distance without the procrit.
I was going to cut back on the prozac but they said not until 6 weeks post tx. I took the depression test I take every visit. It scores 0 to 25 with 10 being mild depression. I scored a 9 so one more digit up and I would have been sent to med-psych again.
Every body comments on how nice it is to only have 6 weeks left. I’ll be happy when it’s 6 days left!
All is well and by for now
Spring has sprung in Carmichael
As a result, I got there at 7:00 but they didn’t take me until 8:00 which was fine because I was able to read the paper and do the crossword puzzle. My nurse Ann has filed for an end to her 27 year marriage and she says her husband is bi-polar, aren’t we all! I decided she needed a little cheering up so I mentioned that if I wasn’t crazy about the woman I was with I would ask her out. Was I forward? Yes, did she appreciate it, yes again. Sometimes, a random act of kindness goes a long way.
The study I’m in has 6 people in my Gp’s practice participating. 2 on standard of care(me and another man), so far we are both clear. The study drug is given to the other 4 people. 3 for 48 weeks and one for 28 weeks. 28 weeks relapsed already and 2 of the 48 weekers are SVR at 12 weeks post tx and the last one is coming up on their 12 week PCR. Too bad about the 28 weeker relapsing, I was hoping for shorter treatment times down the road. It seems the Vertex study drug does well with a 24 week duration.
All 4 people getting the study drug required the rescue drug procrit. My hemoglobin is 12.6 so they say I’m one of the few in the study to go the distance without the procrit.
I was going to cut back on the prozac but they said not until 6 weeks post tx. I took the depression test I take every visit. It scores 0 to 25 with 10 being mild depression. I scored a 9 so one more digit up and I would have been sent to med-psych again.
Every body comments on how nice it is to only have 6 weeks left. I’ll be happy when it’s 6 days left!
All is well and by for now
Spring has sprung in Carmichael
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 27th 293/336
Another groovy day, 70 degrees and clear. Went to Starbuck's to check out the retrained staff and ended up staying for an hour. My “chick magnet” dog was a vehicle to enter into a lengthly conversation with the three ladies at the next table. He did his I’m cute act and the ladies fussed over him for an hour. After Billy finished flirting, he took me for my walk to the river. On the walk, Billy made a friend, Pretty Boy Floyd, and they played well together.
Hot off the presses, my youngest daughter, Jenna, has announced that she is two month’s pregnant, we’re all very excited.
Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my 42 week appointment and I have to be there at 7:30. Dr Pauly has to be on call in Roseville at 9:00 so I have to get up in the middle of the night. Tommorrow is shot # 43, stay tuned.
All is well and by for now
Magda’s dinner consisted of 4 lbs of oranges
Hot off the presses, my youngest daughter, Jenna, has announced that she is two month’s pregnant, we’re all very excited.
Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my 42 week appointment and I have to be there at 7:30. Dr Pauly has to be on call in Roseville at 9:00 so I have to get up in the middle of the night. Tommorrow is shot # 43, stay tuned.
All is well and by for now
Magda’s dinner consisted of 4 lbs of oranges
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tuesday, February 26th 292/336
Woke up feeling very groovy. It’s nice to feel human once in awhile. The weather here today is superb, no wind, clear, and a high of 66 degrees. A day like today can really cheer me up and I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. No fatigue and very little mental illness
The dog and I went to Starbuck’s and we sat outside and read the paper and did the crossword puzzle. After that, the dog took me for my walk to the river.
While listening to my I phone, I heard “Streets of Philadelphia” by Bruce Springstein. It contains the line, “I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone. At night I could hear the blood in my veins black and whispering as the rain.”
This song is about an aids patient on medication. I bring this up because I have conversations with dead friends and relatives almost every night in my dreams. Last night I took a phone call from my mom. We talked and the away she went. She’s been dead and gone for awhile now. Springstein’s lyrics really hit home as that’s how it is for me deep in the night.
My friend Uncertain claims to have become physic while on interferon to the point she changed her name to Madame Yu See. I don’t believe that I’m all that physic, but I do believe that these drugs do strange things to one’s head, so who knows. I may become Mister Yu See before to long. Strange brew!
All is well and by for now
The dog and I went to Starbuck’s and we sat outside and read the paper and did the crossword puzzle. After that, the dog took me for my walk to the river.
While listening to my I phone, I heard “Streets of Philadelphia” by Bruce Springstein. It contains the line, “I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone. At night I could hear the blood in my veins black and whispering as the rain.”
This song is about an aids patient on medication. I bring this up because I have conversations with dead friends and relatives almost every night in my dreams. Last night I took a phone call from my mom. We talked and the away she went. She’s been dead and gone for awhile now. Springstein’s lyrics really hit home as that’s how it is for me deep in the night.
My friend Uncertain claims to have become physic while on interferon to the point she changed her name to Madame Yu See. I don’t believe that I’m all that physic, but I do believe that these drugs do strange things to one’s head, so who knows. I may become Mister Yu See before to long. Strange brew!
All is well and by for now
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday, February 25th 291/336
Today I woke up, read the paper, did the crossword puzzle, took my pills and then I went back to bed for 2 hours. I was comatose to the point that I dreamed I was dead. I was awake in my dream and it was really weird. After I woke up, I had coffee and I got enough energy to let the dog take me for a walk to the river and then we went grocery shopping and I spent $80.00.
My friend L is in a study and she went from VL 4,400,000 to 376 in one week. That is a phenomenal 4 log drop in a week. This should make her feel better during her treatment, knowing that she’ll be clear in 2 weeks. This is also great news for those who are waiting for a shorter tx time with protease inhibitors.
Today I read a very good description about what it’s like to be on treatment. It’s like being hung over & dope sick at the same time with a dash of LSD thrown in the batch. That’s a good analogy.
All is well and by for now
My friend L is in a study and she went from VL 4,400,000 to 376 in one week. That is a phenomenal 4 log drop in a week. This should make her feel better during her treatment, knowing that she’ll be clear in 2 weeks. This is also great news for those who are waiting for a shorter tx time with protease inhibitors.
Today I read a very good description about what it’s like to be on treatment. It’s like being hung over & dope sick at the same time with a dash of LSD thrown in the batch. That’s a good analogy.
All is well and by for now
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Sunday, February 24th 290/336
I was totally bewildered today at my dog’s behavior. We went to Colfax to visit some friends and brought him with us. The performance started miles before we reached our destination, actually as soon as he saw forests where he could run, he started whailing and howeling, it was getting so out of control, we did not know how to handle him. But the day was not over with yet… As soon as we got to the house he started yodeling nonstop for an hour. I said, “son, you are really disappointing me today”
After we left Colfax and came down the hill, we took him to the park and he ran like a madman. He is finally calmed down.
Today is day 290 of my treatment. The only thing I can think about this is that it would be a good score if I were a bowler. So near yet so far away!
All is well and by for now
Downtown Colfax
After we left Colfax and came down the hill, we took him to the park and he ran like a madman. He is finally calmed down.
Today is day 290 of my treatment. The only thing I can think about this is that it would be a good score if I were a bowler. So near yet so far away!
All is well and by for now
Downtown Colfax
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Saturday, February 23rd 289/336
Woke up today feeling groovy. Saturdays are usually the worst but Peg and Riba acted up yesterday, they probably needed today off for some reason.
Today M and I are going to a Hare Krishna wedding and I have promised M that I won’t act up or engage in blasphemy. I have spent a good deal of time preparing my self as repetitive noises tend to put me over the edge. Listening to three hours of Hare Krishna chanting will be the supreme test of my self control and handling Riba rage…….
The wedding was very nice and the chanting was nice to listen too. The bride was 20 and the groom was 18…so young. After the wedding M and I went and had Thai food and then we came home and we’re watching movies. Today was a surprise good day, I’ll take them where I can get them.
All is well and by for now
Today M and I are going to a Hare Krishna wedding and I have promised M that I won’t act up or engage in blasphemy. I have spent a good deal of time preparing my self as repetitive noises tend to put me over the edge. Listening to three hours of Hare Krishna chanting will be the supreme test of my self control and handling Riba rage…….
The wedding was very nice and the chanting was nice to listen too. The bride was 20 and the groom was 18…so young. After the wedding M and I went and had Thai food and then we came home and we’re watching movies. Today was a surprise good day, I’ll take them where I can get them.
All is well and by for now
Friday, February 22, 2008
Friday, February 22nd 288/336
Just when you think you have Peg and Riba all figured out, they change their style. Yesterday, for the 1st time in 42 weeks, I had an immediate reaction post injection. Never a dull moment with this crap. I slept 12 hours and woke up still dead tired. There isn’t any winning with this stuff. I finally came around about noon and went to Starbuck’s and the dog took me for my walk. My head started to clear as I was in a bad space this morning. In the afternoon I became quasi delirious and I went to sleep for another 2 hours. I have slept 14 hours and I’m still so tired. This tx can really take you out mentally and you have to fight it all the time. I think this is why we get so cranky when we’re on tx, it’s a major battle to stay grounded.
All is well and by for now
All is well and by for now
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thursday, February 21st 287/336 Shot #42
Today was good, Thursday is the one day I can usually count on to be OK. Even though it’s shot day, I don’t get hit with sx’s until Friday afternoon. It seems as though I have been shooting interferon all of my life. It feels good to know that it’s coming to a close, even though it seems to get harder as I head for home. I feel as though I’m in mile # 22 of a marathon race, I’ve ingested 2000 Ribavirin pills to date. $11.752.65 to be exact, I’m glad it’s all courtesy of the Shearing-Plough Study I’m in. I’ve had 42 shots of interferon($20,160.00), same as above. Dr’s visits and labs are $12,000.00 to date. Getting in a study has it’s advantages, especially when you’re not the guinea pig and you are only exposed to the current standard of care.
There ain’t a lot left inside strength wise and I’ve hit a couple of walls along the way. This tx will change you as it’s the hardest thing you ever have to do, excepting dealing with terminal disease. It makes you someone who you aren’t and you feel very bad a lot of the time, not so much sick as feeling like you’ve been poisoned and you’re half dead already. You get paranoid, aggressive and depressed. To date, I’ve had homicidal and suicidal ideations. I have a strong enough grip on reality to realize that they are caused by the drugs. Hopefully, when I’m done, I’ll be my old self before too long, and this will just be remembered as a year long journey into the twilight zone. That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.
The virus is dead and gone!
All is well and by for now
There ain’t a lot left inside strength wise and I’ve hit a couple of walls along the way. This tx will change you as it’s the hardest thing you ever have to do, excepting dealing with terminal disease. It makes you someone who you aren’t and you feel very bad a lot of the time, not so much sick as feeling like you’ve been poisoned and you’re half dead already. You get paranoid, aggressive and depressed. To date, I’ve had homicidal and suicidal ideations. I have a strong enough grip on reality to realize that they are caused by the drugs. Hopefully, when I’m done, I’ll be my old self before too long, and this will just be remembered as a year long journey into the twilight zone. That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.
The virus is dead and gone!
All is well and by for now
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Wednesday, February 20th 286/336
Live from Downtown Davis
Woke up feeling groovy with no sides yet. I drove Billy to the Vetenary clinic at UC Davis and they say his spine is ok for now and they just recommend we watch it for a couple of years.
UC Davis is considered the best Vet college in the nation and it’s about 20 miles from home. It’s a huge campus, much more spread out that Sac State. They also have an agriculture college so they have a lot of farmland.
The 2 Neurologists have been great. I have to leave him until 4:00 so dermatology can determine if his ear wax problem needs to be drained.
Of course, M texted me during the consult and asked if I gave them the MRI disc. We all laughed and I said, “I was supposed to give them the disc? I thought I was supposed to throw it out the car window on the freeway.” Teehee!
I’m hanging out in Downtown Davis where I just finished a so so vegiburger. Davis is a sleepy college town which is hella cute. It’s almost a cocoon, lost in academia.
Next, I’m going to do my taxes, and read my book and wait for the time to pass until I can go home. I’m not sure whether I have to leave Billy overnight or not.
Free wi-fi everywhere
All is well and by for now
Woke up feeling groovy with no sides yet. I drove Billy to the Vetenary clinic at UC Davis and they say his spine is ok for now and they just recommend we watch it for a couple of years.
UC Davis is considered the best Vet college in the nation and it’s about 20 miles from home. It’s a huge campus, much more spread out that Sac State. They also have an agriculture college so they have a lot of farmland.
The 2 Neurologists have been great. I have to leave him until 4:00 so dermatology can determine if his ear wax problem needs to be drained.
Of course, M texted me during the consult and asked if I gave them the MRI disc. We all laughed and I said, “I was supposed to give them the disc? I thought I was supposed to throw it out the car window on the freeway.” Teehee!
I’m hanging out in Downtown Davis where I just finished a so so vegiburger. Davis is a sleepy college town which is hella cute. It’s almost a cocoon, lost in academia.
Next, I’m going to do my taxes, and read my book and wait for the time to pass until I can go home. I’m not sure whether I have to leave Billy overnight or not.
Free wi-fi everywhere
All is well and by for now
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Tuesday, February 19th 285/336
The week is lightening up as I move farther away for the devil’s juice I inject on Thursdays. I’m out of the dog house with M and things seem to be back on track, although one of us was “too tired” this evening.
Starbuck’s dog to the river, office depot, the cleaners, Whole Foods etc.. When I got home I got sick as a dog and slept for a couple of hours. The final stretch is hard, the drugs have had their way with me for too long a time. They have beat me down. The first 24 weeks was doable, the second 24 is a slow motion grind. Life moves like molasses these days and I feel as though I’m lost in space.
All is well and by for now
Starbuck’s dog to the river, office depot, the cleaners, Whole Foods etc.. When I got home I got sick as a dog and slept for a couple of hours. The final stretch is hard, the drugs have had their way with me for too long a time. They have beat me down. The first 24 weeks was doable, the second 24 is a slow motion grind. Life moves like molasses these days and I feel as though I’m lost in space.
All is well and by for now
Monday, February 18, 2008
Monday, February 18th 284/336
Yesterday was awful and to day was a little better. Took the dog for the walk to the river, brought him back home and then I went to the Apple store to replace the ear phones I lost. Our friend called today and she said her son had found my glasses in his truck, I lost a lot of things recently. My brain fog isn’t improving and M and I are getting sick of this treatment. M put me on notice today that she needed a little more intimacy as she feels as though she doesn’t have a partner. Yikes, the most beautiful woman in the world needs more intimacy in our relationship. Beware, danger ahead.
In all seriousness, this tx is hard on the best of relationships and as the time goes by it gets harder for both the hepsie and the care giver until you get to the point that it’s gone on way too long. T Lee needs to put out, pronto.
All is well and by for now
Gimme some inimacy!
In all seriousness, this tx is hard on the best of relationships and as the time goes by it gets harder for both the hepsie and the care giver until you get to the point that it’s gone on way too long. T Lee needs to put out, pronto.
All is well and by for now
Gimme some inimacy!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Sunday, February 17th 283/336
Today is a bad one. My body feels as though it’s been thoroughly poisoned, rat poison, weed killer, insecticide, radiation etc. There is no mind over matter with this crap, it’s like going out and standing in a hurricane thinking that you won’t get blown away. When this stuff is on it’s game it’s brutal. Today I’m as sick as I’ve ever been on tx. Chills, fever, neaseua, think head, chemo brain, brain fog, all through saran wrap vision walking on the bottom of a lake. Hugely depressed. I hope tomorrow is better.
All is well and by for now
All is well and by for now
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Saturday, February 16th 282/336
Last night I had the chills in the middle of the night. It was the 3rd time in nine months. When it happens I always think that the house is really cold and I don’t realize what’s happening until it’s passed. Yesterday M and I went to a funeral and it was a very long day. I really enjoyed myself but I exhausted myself in the process. I remember very little of the day today. It was what I call a saran wrap day. M had girlfriends come by for breakfast.
Saturdays are tough on me and today is no exception. We went to the nursery and M bought some flowers to plant for the spring. The weather is gorgeous, it really feels like spring.
I slept the rest of the day and I hope tomorrow is better than today. Once in awhile, tx really nails you.
All is well and by for now
Saturdays are tough on me and today is no exception. We went to the nursery and M bought some flowers to plant for the spring. The weather is gorgeous, it really feels like spring.
I slept the rest of the day and I hope tomorrow is better than today. Once in awhile, tx really nails you.
All is well and by for now
Friday, February 15, 2008
Friday, February 15th 281/336
Guest Bloger Magda
Terry and I attended a funeral today, of one of my real estate clients, Bobbie. Bobbie and his wife June have become good friends of ours, we went to New York together couple of years ago, and on the way back Bobbie got sick with a bacterial lung infection from which he never recovered. He passed away undiagnosed last Monday. His ashes will be placed in a bird bath in his garden amongst the beloved roses and birds to whom he talked. This was one of the most emotional funerals for me, because I admired, respected and loved him. June and Bobbie are like a family to me and his death at such a young age of 73, left a lot of sadness behind. The birds will cry, the roses will miss him and the rest of us are in deep mourning…
All is well and by for now
Terry and I attended a funeral today, of one of my real estate clients, Bobbie. Bobbie and his wife June have become good friends of ours, we went to New York together couple of years ago, and on the way back Bobbie got sick with a bacterial lung infection from which he never recovered. He passed away undiagnosed last Monday. His ashes will be placed in a bird bath in his garden amongst the beloved roses and birds to whom he talked. This was one of the most emotional funerals for me, because I admired, respected and loved him. June and Bobbie are like a family to me and his death at such a young age of 73, left a lot of sadness behind. The birds will cry, the roses will miss him and the rest of us are in deep mourning…
All is well and by for now
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Thursday, February 14th 280/336 Shot # 41
Happy Valentines day boys and girls!
I woke up feeling great and actually got out of bed and the house by 9:30. went to Starbuck's and had coffee and played with all of the dogs. SF has more dogs than people. After that I went to buy "the Plant" and i did as instructed, I bought the plant. It's about 6 feet tall and it's pale purple and green, very pretty. The plumber came and replaced the faucet with a new one. Everything is so expensive! I don't have any sx's today so it's back home to Carmichael to be with M and Billy.
All is well and bye for now
Ramses 2 Temple
I woke up feeling great and actually got out of bed and the house by 9:30. went to Starbuck's and had coffee and played with all of the dogs. SF has more dogs than people. After that I went to buy "the Plant" and i did as instructed, I bought the plant. It's about 6 feet tall and it's pale purple and green, very pretty. The plumber came and replaced the faucet with a new one. Everything is so expensive! I don't have any sx's today so it's back home to Carmichael to be with M and Billy.
All is well and bye for now
Ramses 2 Temple
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Wednesday, February 13th 279/336
Live from SF
Another great day! Shirt sleave weather. Went to Starbuck's and then to lunch with the boys. I then went on the most scenic walk in america, along the Bay to the Golden Gate Bridge and back, 3 miles and it tired me out. After that, I went and got a haircut as my hair seems to be coming back a little and I'm not going to shave my head any more. Shopping at Safeway and off to the plant store to get a plant. We need a big plant for the living room in Carmichael and SF has a great store for that. M told me to just pick one but I'm nervous as they are expensive and I kill all plants in no time at all. I'm going to go back again tomorrow to make a choice. The plumber is also coming to replace my kitchen faucet from 12-3 and then it's off to Carmichael for V day with M.
All is well and bye for now
Another great day! Shirt sleave weather. Went to Starbuck's and then to lunch with the boys. I then went on the most scenic walk in america, along the Bay to the Golden Gate Bridge and back, 3 miles and it tired me out. After that, I went and got a haircut as my hair seems to be coming back a little and I'm not going to shave my head any more. Shopping at Safeway and off to the plant store to get a plant. We need a big plant for the living room in Carmichael and SF has a great store for that. M told me to just pick one but I'm nervous as they are expensive and I kill all plants in no time at all. I'm going to go back again tomorrow to make a choice. The plumber is also coming to replace my kitchen faucet from 12-3 and then it's off to Carmichael for V day with M.
All is well and bye for now
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Tuesday, February 12th 278/336
Woke up feeling groovy. It's 2 days in a row without a nap and few sides. It also seems like my hair is growing back. Things are looking up
Never expect a relative you are lending money to be grateful, chances are in the not too distant future you will be dealt an extremely unkind blow by the beneficiary as the depravity and treacherousness of the human soul knows no bounds. The borrower will stop at nothing, including attacking you and the people you live with personally. The borrower will suffer from a sense of entitlement and blame you for the fact that they can’t make their obligations. They will repeatedly make you ask them when they're going to pay and they will try to guilt you for doing them a favor. This is embarrassing and awkward at best.
They will tell you this is a fight you can't win, No shit! They have all of your money.
All is well and by for now
Never expect a relative you are lending money to be grateful, chances are in the not too distant future you will be dealt an extremely unkind blow by the beneficiary as the depravity and treacherousness of the human soul knows no bounds. The borrower will stop at nothing, including attacking you and the people you live with personally. The borrower will suffer from a sense of entitlement and blame you for the fact that they can’t make their obligations. They will repeatedly make you ask them when they're going to pay and they will try to guilt you for doing them a favor. This is embarrassing and awkward at best.
They will tell you this is a fight you can't win, No shit! They have all of your money.
All is well and by for now
Monday, February 11, 2008
Monday, February 11th 277/336
Woke up feeling groovy. M and I went to Peet’s and had coffee and I did the crossword puzzle. Everyone at Peet’s is talking Obama, he is really coming on strong. Hillary must have her panties in quite a knot as she was the odds on favorite a month ago, now she’s fighting for her life. Obama is pulling in $1,000,000 a day from people like you and me, Hillary gets substantially less, mostly from PACs leaned on by Bill.. Moveon.org has 2,000,000 members all connected via the internet. We’ve voted to support Obama by a margin of 70% to Hillary’s 30%.
Want to Move On? http://moveon.org/
Click to join: http://barackobama.com/
After the mail came (the highlight of the retired person on tx’s day, sad) the dog took me for my walk and I listened to Amy Winehouse on my iphone. The weather here today is glorious, a wonderful spring time day. When the weather is like this, everyone seems to be happy. Tomorrow it’s off to SF for 2 days and dinner with Dave & Millicent. David is a physician and he founded The Haight Ashbury Free Clinic. When Bill Clinton was the president, Dave was in line to be the national drug czar until the right uncovered that he was in recovery for 20 years. Lunch on Wednesday with Jesse, Mike and Pete.
Check this link out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gwqEneBKUs
All is well and by for now
Want to Move On? http://moveon.org/
Click to join: http://barackobama.com/
After the mail came (the highlight of the retired person on tx’s day, sad) the dog took me for my walk and I listened to Amy Winehouse on my iphone. The weather here today is glorious, a wonderful spring time day. When the weather is like this, everyone seems to be happy. Tomorrow it’s off to SF for 2 days and dinner with Dave & Millicent. David is a physician and he founded The Haight Ashbury Free Clinic. When Bill Clinton was the president, Dave was in line to be the national drug czar until the right uncovered that he was in recovery for 20 years. Lunch on Wednesday with Jesse, Mike and Pete.
Check this link out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gwqEneBKUs
All is well and by for now
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sunday, February 10th 276/336
Got up at 9:30 and was handed a mocha frappachino to start my day. I read the Sunday SF Chronicle and the NY Times. This week is turning out to be a stinker side wise. Oh well, so what else is new. This tx gets slower and slower as time goes on. I feel like I’m looking at life through saran wrap while walking through quicksand or walking at the bottom of a lake. M tells me to stop whining, “You’ve only got 60 days left”. Easy for her to say, it might as well be 60 years! OK enough already.
M and TVB and Billy and me went to the park and we had a lot of fun. Billy never stopped running and chasing squirrels. Off to SF on tuesday
All is well and by for now
M and TVB and Billy and me went to the park and we had a lot of fun. Billy never stopped running and chasing squirrels. Off to SF on tuesday
All is well and by for now
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Saturday, February 9th 275/336
I didn’t get out of bed today until noon and then I got hit with some serious sx’s and had to go back to bed in the afternoon.
Shot #40 was what I call a “hot shot” The syringe comes loaded with 202 mcg’s of interferon. When you get the shot ready, it’s designed to leak out about 20% so you end up with somewhere around 150. This shot didn’t leak at all so I got the whole tamale. Every time this happens the big T gets hella sx’s and this time is no exception.
I have been bribing my dog with tuna jerkey and cheese, but today he graoweled at me and I had to suspend his treat privilages. Then I took him for our ususal walk in the park, however, we only got half way though and he turned me around, no wonder my triglycerides are so high, I simply don't get enogh exercise, because my dog has been lazy lately and doesn't want to walk me. As a result Ug Lee, my cat, and I have been sleeping together all day long, I love that pussy.
All is well and by for now
I might get in trouble for this!
Shot #40 was what I call a “hot shot” The syringe comes loaded with 202 mcg’s of interferon. When you get the shot ready, it’s designed to leak out about 20% so you end up with somewhere around 150. This shot didn’t leak at all so I got the whole tamale. Every time this happens the big T gets hella sx’s and this time is no exception.
I have been bribing my dog with tuna jerkey and cheese, but today he graoweled at me and I had to suspend his treat privilages. Then I took him for our ususal walk in the park, however, we only got half way though and he turned me around, no wonder my triglycerides are so high, I simply don't get enogh exercise, because my dog has been lazy lately and doesn't want to walk me. As a result Ug Lee, my cat, and I have been sleeping together all day long, I love that pussy.
All is well and by for now
I might get in trouble for this!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Friday, February 8th 274/336
Woke up feeling groovy and then the bottom fell out. I couldn’t move for 3 hours. The Divine Ms M harassed me unmercilessly for an hour to get me to go for my walk. She poked, pinched, hugged, kissed, pulled and pushed until I finally had to move of the couch due to extreme bugging. I felt better after I got back. TVB has the famous MRSA in his nose and he is freaking.
I am going to leave Hillary alone for awhile as I don’t feel that the “Pimping out Chelsea” comment was in order, at all. The MSNBC commentator was totally out of line.
This tx has me feeling like I’m living in a bowl of molasses. Everything moves incredibly slowly. Particularly the one day at a time part. I am really looking forward to getting my life back
All is well and by for now
Halfway into the walk
I am going to leave Hillary alone for awhile as I don’t feel that the “Pimping out Chelsea” comment was in order, at all. The MSNBC commentator was totally out of line.
This tx has me feeling like I’m living in a bowl of molasses. Everything moves incredibly slowly. Particularly the one day at a time part. I am really looking forward to getting my life back
All is well and by for now
Halfway into the walk
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Thursday, February 7th 273/336 Shot #40
Once again I get to inject myself with insecticide. It’s OK as it’s #40 and I’ve done it before. I’m amazed at the many mood changes this crap puts my through on a daily basis. You can feel it try too drag you down into a deep depression, most of the time it loses, I guess it’s the prozac saving my ass. Anyone who gets through this process without going on AD’s is a better man/woman than I.
My sides are extreme fatigue, brain fog(who am I?) and chemo brain. Chemo brain is the feeling of the poisons attacking your brain. I’ve been doing this for 9 months and it is powerful stuff. The personality changes and the mental sides are the worst part of it for me. I feel nothing but humilty while projecting a strong sense of self rightousness (according to M). What I see is not what they get. JB says it best when he says, “Sometimes the spectators see more than the players” I don’t see the personality changes that others see. 2 more months and we’re done with it. This is a very tough treatment, for Laurie, Jonathan and Cindy, my friends who will be starting soon, Get in the best shape you can, go to the gym, do some aerobics, get your meds in order, hit the tx running, this shit is long and nasty.
All is well and by for now
I really want to be king!
My sides are extreme fatigue, brain fog(who am I?) and chemo brain. Chemo brain is the feeling of the poisons attacking your brain. I’ve been doing this for 9 months and it is powerful stuff. The personality changes and the mental sides are the worst part of it for me. I feel nothing but humilty while projecting a strong sense of self rightousness (according to M). What I see is not what they get. JB says it best when he says, “Sometimes the spectators see more than the players” I don’t see the personality changes that others see. 2 more months and we’re done with it. This is a very tough treatment, for Laurie, Jonathan and Cindy, my friends who will be starting soon, Get in the best shape you can, go to the gym, do some aerobics, get your meds in order, hit the tx running, this shit is long and nasty.
All is well and by for now
I really want to be king!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Wednesday, February 6th 272/336
I was pleased with the election, it’s nice to see so many people getting excited about it. Today, I sent Obama another $500.00 as the Clintons’ have put in $5,000,000 of their own money as of 2 days ago. It seems that they are trying to buy the nomination. In the end, they probably will, as good old boy, ward style politics will prevail among the super delegates and they and the Clintons’ will all sell their souls to promote their hidden agenda’s. More business as usual. Obama’s campaign has come up with $4,500,000 just today to offset it. If the Dems don’t put Obama on the ticket, Terry Lee votes for John McCain. Sorry ladies. The beat goes on, tomorrow is shot #40 and my trip into the fabulous 40’s.
All is well and bye for now.
All is well and bye for now.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Tuesday, February 5th 271/336
What an exciting day, election day. Who to vote for? A black or a woman? Can’t go wrong there, either one works. Now, what about the candidates merits? Hilary seems to vacillate between being a good old boy and a weeping willow. I can’t watch her cry before every primary. She represent’s business as usual. Obama lacks experience, as does Hillary, but he seems to make up for it with hope and sincerity and conviction. I like the guy, he makes me feel good, I trust him.
Go Obama!
All is well and bye for now.
Hilary's Crying Game?
Go Obama!
All is well and bye for now.
Hilary's Crying Game?
Monday, February 04, 2008
Monday, February 4th 270/336
While on my walk to the River with my dog and I was listening to my iphone and the words to the Streets of Philedelphia by Bruce Springsteen have stayed with me for a lot of the day.
I was bruised and battered
And I couldn't tell what I felt
I was unrecognizable to myself
Saw my reflection in a window
I didn't know my own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me wasting away
On the streets of Philadelphia
I walked the avenue till my legs felt like stone
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone
At night I could hear the blood in my veins
Just as black and whispering as the rain
On the streets of Philadelphia
Ain't no angel gonna greet me
It's just you and I my friend
And my clothes don't fit me no more
I walked a thousand miles just to slip this skin
The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake
I can feel myself fading away
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss
Or will we leave each other alone like this
On the streets of Philadelphia
All is well and bye for now.
I was bruised and battered
And I couldn't tell what I felt
I was unrecognizable to myself
Saw my reflection in a window
I didn't know my own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me wasting away
On the streets of Philadelphia
I walked the avenue till my legs felt like stone
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone
At night I could hear the blood in my veins
Just as black and whispering as the rain
On the streets of Philadelphia
Ain't no angel gonna greet me
It's just you and I my friend
And my clothes don't fit me no more
I walked a thousand miles just to slip this skin
The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake
I can feel myself fading away
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss
Or will we leave each other alone like this
On the streets of Philadelphia
All is well and bye for now.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Sunday, February 3rd 269/336
Saturday night was a great time. I slept most of the afternoon and I was able to recover sufficiently enough to have my birthday dinner at Saha restaurant. My daughter Jenna and and her boyfriend Dennis were there as were My daughter Christina and her husband Rick. MVB & TVB rounded off the party. I really enjoyed myself. I really appreciate that M did this for me.
We went home to the loft and had a second little party and 6 people ended up spending the night, me, 2 Magdas, TVB, Michael and Isabella. It got to be a little too much for me as I was very tired so I snuck off to bed.
Never a dull moment, up at 8:30 and off to Peet’s and then Breakfast with Jonathan. Jonathan revealed the results of his biopsy and he came back a 3-1, (aka bridging fibrosis). He’s gone from a 1-1 two years ago to the current 3-1. Another one bites the dust. He has a great attitude and he will probably start his tx soon.
We drove home to Carmichael and Billy is so happy to be back in the woods. All is well and bye for now.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Saturday, February 2nd 268/336
The Traumatic Events Of the Day...
I am writing this blog for TL because he is not feeling well. We went to the beach and the whole way there and back, TVB and TL had these intense conversations about the origins of the word “right,” and why we use the word “right” for the word “correct” and why we don’t use the world “left” for the word “incorrect” and what it all really means. They sounded like two hippies tripping on LSD. It went on, and on, and on… I told them that they sound like two cranky beeatches. Now both of them are lying on the couch whining about all their hurting alignments and how old age is not fun, and I should just wait and see. So I decided that when they are really old and get even crankier to cheer them up, I will hire them naked girls to do gymnastics and flips in our back yard. After much negotiation we went to the beach, where TL had a riba rage, and kicked some ladies dog. As one can imagine, she went ballistic, upon which, he proceeded to call her, a “crazy bitch”. We had to run to the car and drive home fast, before she pepper sprayed us. On our fast way out of the beach, we saw a coyote, so we stopped the car to take a photo. TL rolled down his window and the coyote was licking his lips trying to jump up at TL. It put poor TL further over the edge, so now he has been sleeping for hours and is unable to move due to all the traumatic events of the day and it is not over yet…
I am writing this blog for TL because he is not feeling well. We went to the beach and the whole way there and back, TVB and TL had these intense conversations about the origins of the word “right,” and why we use the word “right” for the word “correct” and why we don’t use the world “left” for the word “incorrect” and what it all really means. They sounded like two hippies tripping on LSD. It went on, and on, and on… I told them that they sound like two cranky beeatches. Now both of them are lying on the couch whining about all their hurting alignments and how old age is not fun, and I should just wait and see. So I decided that when they are really old and get even crankier to cheer them up, I will hire them naked girls to do gymnastics and flips in our back yard. After much negotiation we went to the beach, where TL had a riba rage, and kicked some ladies dog. As one can imagine, she went ballistic, upon which, he proceeded to call her, a “crazy bitch”. We had to run to the car and drive home fast, before she pepper sprayed us. On our fast way out of the beach, we saw a coyote, so we stopped the car to take a photo. TL rolled down his window and the coyote was licking his lips trying to jump up at TL. It put poor TL further over the edge, so now he has been sleeping for hours and is unable to move due to all the traumatic events of the day and it is not over yet…
Friday, February 01, 2008
Friday, February 1st 267/336
Oh happy day! Today I’m 60, who’d a thunk it.
Had such a nice day, woke up to balloons and cake with candles and Peet’s coffee. The three of us went for breakfast downtown. The rest of the day has been rather mundane, have been doing a lot of sleeping with my dog, well it is not excacly sleeping, more like the feeling of someone who has worked in a coal mine all day long. Even though I don’t like birthdays, yes, I am typical American, I had a pleasant day. We are off to San Francisco in a few hours to start another round of celebrations.
M has me and TVB writing all her school papers, no wonder she’s Phi Beta Kappa. TVB has Hinduism and I have the missile crisis.
This tx takes way too long, lost in space is more like it. You really find out what you are made of on this crap. The question remains, “Is the cure worse than the disease?” No if you’re cured and yes if you relapse, it’s a bitch anyway you cut it.
All is well and bye for now.
Had such a nice day, woke up to balloons and cake with candles and Peet’s coffee. The three of us went for breakfast downtown. The rest of the day has been rather mundane, have been doing a lot of sleeping with my dog, well it is not excacly sleeping, more like the feeling of someone who has worked in a coal mine all day long. Even though I don’t like birthdays, yes, I am typical American, I had a pleasant day. We are off to San Francisco in a few hours to start another round of celebrations.
M has me and TVB writing all her school papers, no wonder she’s Phi Beta Kappa. TVB has Hinduism and I have the missile crisis.
This tx takes way too long, lost in space is more like it. You really find out what you are made of on this crap. The question remains, “Is the cure worse than the disease?” No if you’re cured and yes if you relapse, it’s a bitch anyway you cut it.
All is well and bye for now.
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