Thursday, February 21st 287/336 Shot #42

Today was good, Thursday is the one day I can usually count on to be OK. Even though it’s shot day, I don’t get hit with sx’s until Friday afternoon. It seems as though I have been shooting interferon all of my life. It feels good to know that it’s coming to a close, even though it seems to get harder as I head for home. I feel as though I’m in mile # 22 of a marathon race, I’ve ingested 2000 Ribavirin pills to date. $11.752.65 to be exact, I’m glad it’s all courtesy of the Shearing-Plough Study I’m in. I’ve had 42 shots of interferon($20,160.00), same as above. Dr’s visits and labs are $12,000.00 to date. Getting in a study has it’s advantages, especially when you’re not the guinea pig and you are only exposed to the current standard of care.

There ain’t a lot left inside strength wise and I’ve hit a couple of walls along the way. This tx will change you as it’s the hardest thing you ever have to do, excepting dealing with terminal disease. It makes you someone who you aren’t and you feel very bad a lot of the time, not so much sick as feeling like you’ve been poisoned and you’re half dead already. You get paranoid, aggressive and depressed. To date, I’ve had homicidal and suicidal ideations. I have a strong enough grip on reality to realize that they are caused by the drugs. Hopefully, when I’m done, I’ll be my old self before too long, and this will just be remembered as a year long journey into the twilight zone. That which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.

The virus is dead and gone!

All is well and by for now