Tuesday, July 31st 83/336

It's Tuesday and I start to feel human again. Crossword and the Jumble have been solved 100% so the "stupids" stayed away today. I went to the dry cleaners and dropped off and picked up. Next, Starbuck's for a Frappachino and then M and I went to the park with the dog. He ran around like crazy!. The maids are here cleaning so M and I are in the back yard, waiting for them to leave. In the meatime, I'll post my blog and work on my next 5000 word paper," Out of the Shadows: The Latina Experience in America. " I really can't relate to this too much as a white male but I'll do my best to satisfy the requirements. The last paper was about racism in America and that was easy for me as I adopted my daughter 33 years ago and she is black so I have a lot of experience with the effects of racism. Off to class tonight to learn more about Native Americans. My teacher has a phd in Native American studies and is a member of the Tolowa Tribe up on the California/Oregon border. She was raised on the Smith Ranch Indian Reservation. She is very interesting to listen to. Tommorrow, I will be 25% done with my tx. Bye for now


Puppy Love

Monday, July 30th 82/336

A pattern seems to be emerging. Sleep for 9 hours, get up, eat breakfast, take my Ribavirin, go back to sleep for 2 more hours. The thing about patterns on tx is that as soon as you can establish a pattern, it changes to something else. Never a dull moment with tx.

I took my dog and my newspaper to the park, where I drank my frappachino from Starbuck's and read the paper and did the jumble and the crossword puzzle. If I can solve these 2 puzzles, I consider my brain intact. if I can't, I tell everyone that I have a case of the "stupids". In fairness to myself, it must be pointed out that the crossword puzzle gets harder every day until friday when it gets really hard. I get the "stupids" a lot toward the end of the week, but not today, ha ha!

I've decided thart if I'm cured of this disease 6 months post treatment, I'm going to tattoo my other arm in big red letters that says "Undetectable HVC" Bye for now.

Greek Door, Isle of Lesvos, 2003

Sunday, July 29th 81/336

Woke up this morning and felt OK. Had breakfast, read the paper and went back to bed for 2 hours. Got back up, read the New York Times, ate 2 fig Newtons and went back to bed for yet another hour. Magda started to harass me about being such a slug. "How do you feel?"" I have chemo brain! and I'm very tired. If you really want to know how i feel it's like this, I'm walking around life at the bottom of a swimming pool and all of my thoughts and movements are very heavy because of the resistance of the water." Enough whining for the day.

M said, "you have to go to the gym with me and you're going to go swimming!" I decided that it would be more work to fight her than it would be to go to the gym, so off we went. I did my usual wights and reps but they were harder because it has been so long since I've been. Swimming was refreshing, and I must say, Magda was right.....Again. Maybe the bike ride tomorrow? Bye for now.

Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, Jackson Hole, Wyoming, 2001

Saturday, July 28th 80/336

One of the drugs I take is Peg-Intron Interferon. I take this as a shot on Thursday evening. The "Peg" is short for pegulated. Pegulated means that it releases over time in the course of a week. The first release occurs following the shot.It starts the next day in the morning and makes me sick until the afternoon. I really don't get sick so much as I get so tired I can't function but I can't sleep, almost comatose. The second release occurs around 40 hours post injection. I got hit with that today and it didn't clear till 5 this afternoon. I slept most of the day but now I'm feeling much better. I finished my paper and now I'm going to start on the next one. I hope that tomorrow is better and maybe I can ride the bike. Bye for now.

San Francisco Sunrise, 2003

Friday, July 27th 79/336

The party last night was fun. It's the first time that I have been in a large social group since I started my treatment. Well, you would of thought I was drunk. Some of the junk that came out of my mouth was unbelievable, almost as though I had tirets syndrone. I took my shot at 10:30 last night(2.5 hours later than usual) and this morning I got really sick for about 3 hours. Couldn't move or think and had my doubts about what day it was. Around noon, it lifted and things got better and M and I beat it on home to Sacto. Still feeling a little out of it and I keep thinking it's Sunday. Oh well, some days are better than others. Bye for now.

Ex-wife, Mazatlan 1980

Thursday, July 26th 78/336 Shot #12

Woke up this morning feeling groovy. Today we're off to SF to go to a birthday party for our friend David, 54. I'm going to stay an extra day and then take the train home Saturday or Sunday. My treatment friends are all in different stages of coping. Tea aka Starwitch is pondering the existance of love handles as injection sites during her 54th week of tx, she is my hero. Uncertain is waiting by the phone for her 3 month post tx PCR results. This is the big one for her. Denise, aka Swampmomster is MIA. She has been haing a very hard time mentally and I hope she has had some help from her doctor. All is well, off to SF, bye for now.

San Francisco, 2002

Wednesday, July 25th 77/336

Last night I slept for 9 hours. I must say that I really am lucky to be able to sleep so well. Got up, took my pills and then went back to sleep for an hour. Got up, did emails, read the paper, did the crossword puzzle and the jumble. My daughter sent me photos of my step daughter's wedding that I paid 20K for but didn't attend. I'm so glad that I skipped it. There were only about 35 people there and I wouldn't have had anywhere to hide, I hate weddings for a number of reasons. Mainly because I don't understand how people can commit to spend a life together when we are so prone to stray and to change. Weddings make me so nervous, when I'm at one, I just want to crawl out of my skin. The divorce rate is so high. Also, it was out in the sun and I would have had a problem with my photo sensitivity issues. Am I cynical or what. Today, I'm going to lay by the pool and write my paper some more, then I will go to school. Tommorrow M and I are off to SF. Bye for now

SF, Kelly's Cove, 2002

Tuesday, July 24th 76/336

Nine hours sleep, got up at 8:00 and had breakfast and took all of my pills. Went back to bed and slept for another 2 hours. When I got up again, I put on my biking clothes and hit it for 15 miles. No rest, just do it. It was fairly easy today and it really makes me feel good. When I'm on the ride, I forget that I'm on tx and I pretend I'm the way I used to be before tx. When I got home, I got my computer and layed by the pool and started writing my paper for my class. I got 700 words done out of the 1700 I need to do. It was overcast today and it felt very much like Hawaii. I have been feeling that I look sickly and pale lately so I put on sun screen and layed in the sun for an hour. No damage yet. I had to take another nap before dinner. My class was very interesting tonight and I learned all about Native American sovernty. Quite a fascinating tale. Bye for now

Mauna Kea Beach, Hawaii 2000

Monday, July 23rd 75/336

The fatigue is getting worse every week. This morning I woke up after 9 hours asleep, had breakfast, took my pills and then took it easy. The fatigue is unlike any I've known in that gravity appears to have twice it's normal pull. I can't get motivated to do too much. I snapped out of it today at 4:00PM. I usually clear around 11:00 or 12:00 on Monday so it seems the drugs are beating me down. I'm off to school as I go Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 6:30 to 8:40. I hope that tomorrow I can ride my bike, even if it means being wiped out on Wednesday. I really benefit from taking control and excercising, although it seems like it's getting harder as time goes by. I really think the Prozac is saving my ass as I'm not depressed and I don't have the infamous "Riba Rage" Bye for now.

Shirt, 1980

Sunday, July 22nd 74/336

Woke up today feeling sluggish. It's the weirdest thing, you sleep 9 hours and when you wake up your still tired. My only side effect is fatigue so in the regard I consider myself to be one of the lucky one's. That said, I got a lot of fatigue. I was going to ride my bike, but instead I went back to bed for another 2 hours. I think this is how it feels to be around 85 years old, tired all the time with no ambition to do anything at all. Other than that, mentally I feel great and life is good. Bye for now.

Santa Barbara, 2002

Saturday, July 21st 73/336

No post Yesterday as ATT knocked down the whole neighborhood all day and all night. Just as well as yesterday was the day after the shot and it was pretty much of a wipe out all day.

Woke up today feeling tired but things improved. Magda and I went to Starbuck's and I ordered my new drink, wet Cappachino is out and Vanilla Frappachino is in. This came about due to the mouth sores I had last week. I must say, at least one thing good came out of it.

Great news! I got a solid A final in my Art history class. This really mattered to me because it shows me that I can rise above the brain fog and memory loss I experience from the Interferon.

More good news! I got a check from Kaiser for $125.00 for my participation in weeks 0-4 in the Scherring Plough trial. The hits keep coming. Tx is free and they pay me to boot.

After Starbuck's, Magda and I went to Bannister Park and walked a mile down to the American River and then the mile back up the hill. When we came to M's car, thieves had smashed in the driver's side window. Fortunately, M had locked her purse in the trunk. Oh well, shit happens. I guess I can always blame it on Ross or Martin, but i'm sure they'll have made up an iron clad alibi. Bye for now.

The Little Blue Church, Big Island, Hawaii, 2000

thursday, July 19th 71/336 Shot #11

Woke up feeling groovy. I went to the doctor today and everything looks good so far. Hg is hanging in at 13.4 and the plats are 178. Nuets are OK too and the whites are 2.98, so they too are holding. My study has 7 people in it. All 7 of us are clear with me being the last at 8 weeks. 5 are on the Protease Inhibitor w/Peg & Riba and 2 of us are on just Peg & Riba. The staff is very encouraged that we have all cleared and that we have all done so quickly.

After the doctor I went to the university library and copied 7 articles that I need for the rest of the semester in race and ethnicity. That was quite and experience, learnig how to do it. OK, I'm glad that's over with. I wonder why I didn't do all of this when I went to school 40 years ago. I guess it was the drugs, ya tink? Tonights shot night, oh goody, I get to poison myself again! Whatever it takes to slay the dragon is OK by me. Bye for now.


Wyoming, 2001

Wednesday, July 18th, 70/336

Woke up this morning and went to have coffee at Peet's with my friend Jennifer. We used to work together in real estate. We had a nice visit and she mentioned that Sac state had changed their tune and accepted all of her credits from 20 years ago. This is what they also did for me. Seems as though they give the adults a little leeway in their credits.

Peg and Riba are very fussy today, I think they're pissed about having gone on a ride yesterday. I've been way tired all day and when I lay down, I feel as though I have a heavy lead blanket on top of me.

Went to school and it was good to pass the time.

Tommorrow I'm of to see the doctor for my 10 week bloods and visit. Tommorrow night is shot 11 and I'm going to start hitting my stomach for the next 10 injections. Bye for now.

McCandliss Ranch, Hawaii, 2000

Tuesday, July 17th 69/336

Today was the day, back on the bike trail. While I was riding, I thought, I'm in a 15 round boxing match and I've just come out for the 4th round. Round 3 was tough and Peg and Riba landed some good punches. I've rested between rounds and decided that they can knock me down but they can't knock me out. So off we ride into the wild blue yonder. Did I want to ride, no. Just do it! So do it I did. 15 miles over hill and dale. Toughest day yet but I made it. I have put Peg and Riba back in their cage one more time. We do battle often but I will not let them win. Them and I toghether against the Dragon. Off to cultural diversity class. Bye for now.

Bridge Shadow on the Bay, 2002

Monday, July 16th 68/336

Woke up this morning and things are definately looking up, almost back to feeling groovy. My infection is almost cured and I only have to take the antibiotics through tomorow. My pal Uncertain advised me to take pro-biotics to offset the nausea and that has been a godsend. Another treatment buddy, Denise, aka SwampMoMster, told me about some oral rinse for my canker sores and they too are feeling better. i'm a little fatigued still, but nothing I can't live with. Hopefully, I can start my bike rides again tomorrow. I start a class tonight MTW 6:30 to 8:40 called race and ethnicity. It's the last GE requirement I need to graduate. Bye for now

5th Avenue & 57th Street, Manhattan 2002

Sunday, July 15th 67/336

Hi, we just got back from SF and we had a good time despite all of my disabilities. We went out to dinner to Houston's with my brother and Magda's friend Magda, what about that, 2 Magdas. My mouth is still extremely sore with probably 20 canker sores. Very frustrating. This morning we went to Tibouron for breakfast at the New Morning Cafe with David and Jimmy. That's the best breakfast restaurant in the world. After breakfast, we went to David's house and saw his girlfriend Ann. Ann had a new purse, on sale , from Zara's. So of course, we have to drive all the way back to SF to check out Zara's sale. 1/2 an hour later, Magda came out empty handed. Women are so cute! Bye for now


Bumper Cars, Santa Cruz, 1979

Friday, July 13th 65/336

I had shot #10 last night and slept like a baby. The anti-biotics continue to upset my stomach and the infection seems to have stalled. I blew off the HepC forum today as it's become a free for all. Some of us may start a newer smaller one in the future. I jumped it the pool this afternoon and that really woke me up. I have to remember this. I'm getting all of these little sores in my mouth and they are becoming bothersome. Hopefully, Star Witch will come to my rescue with one of her home remedys. Tommorrow it's off to SF to see my brother visiting from NYC. Bye for now.


3 Aspens, Wyoming 2001

Thursday, July 12th 64/336 Shot#10

Today I got viral load test results from week 8

Drum Roll !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Undetectable

This means that the virus is gone and that I have a 65% chance of a permanent cure. I am very happy about this.

Wednesday, July 11th, 63/336

This infection and the antibiotics side effects are much worse than Interferon and Ribaviron. I can barely walk and to do so is very painful. I have what I call a case of AFU "All Fucked Up". The good news is that it looks much better. My 18 year old cat surprised me a minute ago. She was sitting on my chest and she got up, walked over the dog and started licking my foot where the infection is. I was blown away. It seems that animals have a sixth sense that they can figure these things out.

I belong to a cyber group of people in treatment for Hep C and the british contingency has had a total melt down. They are in disarray similar to a civil war. It would be entertaining were it not so sad to watch.

Tommorrow is my final ex and I think I'm ready for it. I just hope the data stays put in my head until tomorrow, after that it can all leak out for all I care.

I hope to get my 8 weeks Viral load test results tomorrow. Bye for now.


Autumn Rythyms, Jackson Pollack, 1949. Photo 2002

Tuesday, July 10th 62/336

Today, my foot is still the same, very painful and maybe slightly less swollen and inflamed. The infection has stopped moving up my leg. I think I'm in this one for awhile. Too bad as it's only 85 degrees out and I feel like a bike ride. I think it will be a couple of weeks. As of today, I am taking 17 pills a day....OMG.

Today is my last day of Art history class with my final test on Thursday. Class lasted 6 weeks and it has served a great purpose, it has kept my mind occupied during my treatment. I really hope I can get an A. I have a shot as the next test is on the 20th century and I'm very familiar with the period. Next Monday, I start another class, Race and Ethnicity. I have no desire to take it but it's my last GE Requirement so I might as well get it out of the way.

I've signed up for 3 classes in the fall. I don't know that I can handle it but I'll drop if I need to. We're off to SF for the weekend on Thursday. I feel like the walking wounded with this infection....Yuck! otherwise, all is OK. Bye for now:-)


Greece, 2004

Monday, July 9th 61/336

Got up today and I could hardly walk. The infection in my foot hasn't gotten better since I was in the emergency last night. I went to see my GP and she gave me 2 humongous ass shots of antibiotics. My ass is sore. Says she hopes that will do it but if it doesn't she'll change the AB's.

I got some very bad news today from a member of the Scherring Plough study that I'm in. He has had a viral break through at weeks 6 & 8. That means that the virus has mutated into a resistant strain. Very sad news. Kenny, if you read this, know that my thoughts are with you. Bye for now

Ballerina, 2000

Sunday, July 8th 60/336

Just back from the emergency room. Last night I woke up with the chills and I thought it was a strange time to get interferon side effects. Turns out that my foot has become infected and I now have blood poisoning brought on by a low white blood cell count from my treatment. Bye for now.

hawaii 2002

Saturday, July 7th 59/336

This treatment never ceases to amaze me. Today I feel as good as I have ever felt in my life and I just had my shot. To celebrate, I added 5 miles to my bike ride and that took it up to 20 miles. It wasn't so easy at the end but I made it home with no problem. I had to rest for an hour and I don't know if it was from the ride or the meds. I'm guessing it was the ride

I've been having a lot of thoughts as of late that seem to pop up out of nowhere. The yellow jacket that stung me when I was in Poland, stuff like that.

I also went through the events leading up to my resigning form the San Francisco Fire Department in 1990 after 13 years of service. I think what triggered it is the medical care I'm getting. I get my health insurance paid for by the City for the rest of my life. I really lucked out on that one. When I left, they offered me 55K to opt out of the pension and the health plan. I'm so glad I didn't as the pension and the health benefits are now worth $25K a year.

Why did I leave? A lot of reasons. My real estate company was getting huge. I had a call one day where a citezen had a heart attack and as he went down, he broke the shower door and slid to the ground. The glass was 1/4" thick and it sliced his arm off through the shoulder blade. When I arrived the place was a mess and the family was screaming hysterically. When I went in the bathroom I saw why. He was armless on the ground and the blood was 2" thick piled up like pudding. A cop came in the room and we just looked at each other and I said, "I've got to quit this job".

The next week I responded to a gunshot wound in the public housing projects. When I walked into the room there was blood and brains all over the wall. A mother had grabbed her 2 year old and hugged her. As she held the child, she stuck a 44 magnum into her mouth (mother) and pulled the trigger. When I arrived the child was still in her arms and she knew what had happened. I'll never forget the look of terror in that child's eyes.

That night, I called my ex wife and I said, "I'm coming home and I won't be going back, I can't handle another day of this bullshit" I don't know why I had to write this, I just know that I did. Bye for now.

Friday, July 6th, 58/336

I took shot #9 last night and today I caught a break and I have no side effects today. Peg and Riba are very unpredictable.
The interferon shots I take reduce the seratonin in the brain and leads to clinical depression in about a 35% of the people on tx. The increased Prozac seems to have me mentally back on track. Today I'm studying for my last test and I'm developing a memory system for people with interferon brain damage. I call what I have 'Swiss Cheese Brain".

This morning we went to Peet's for coffee and next I'm going to take my car in for a smog check so I can register it. I'm torn between taking 2 or 3 classes in the fall. I know that 2 is the best choice but I might take 3 anyway and then I can always drop one.

It's really warming up around here!



Yesterday it was 113 degrees and the babies didn't like it at all.

Thursday, July 5th 57/336 Shot #9

Today I felt like I did before treatment. The upped dose of Prozac has also kicked in and I can really tell the difference

New Bloods ALT & AST are liver studies and now in the normal range

Beginning 2 weeks 4 weeks 6 weeks

VL 5,200,000 1,710,000 105,000 410

Hgb 15.8 15.5 15.4 13.9

Hct 47 48 46 42

WBC 3.99 2.88 2.90 2.9

ALT 201 102 66 31

AST 140 72 46 27

Gluc 115 86 101 92

ANC 2360 1220 1460 1800

Plts 199 174 185 162

I think I may have caught a break hitting ARM 1 of the Scherring Plough trial (no study drug). I had to sign a new consent form today disclosing all the nasty sides some are getting on the study drug. My 2 nurses and the GI all just rolled their eyes when I asked if people were getting sick. The GI mentioned, "How would you like to have to do 48 weeks of that!"

Midnight Martinique, 2004

Wednesday, July 4th 56/336

Happy 4th of July!

Tuesday, July 3rd, 55/336

Tuesday's have been good days to date. I took my second test for my art history class and it was very tricky. She mentioned that Versailles would be on the test for sure, Not. She had 3 essays on some very obscure works that were briefly discussed in class. I think I did OK and hope to get another A-. One more test and 3 more classes and I'm done. I like summer school, it goes fast and it's a real challenge to do well with a head full of interferon and Ribaviron. Happy 4th of July!


The back of the house

Monday, July 2nd, 54/336

I really had a hard time getting up this morning. Magda started with her "you better get up and take your pills", I responed, "why don't I just drink a cup of bleach instead!". So the day started. The last 3 days have been the toughest yet. Very, very tired all the time, all I want to do is sleep. Next she started with, " Come on, you're going for a bike ride, I'm tired of watching you sleep" I really didn't want to do it but off we go, over hill and dale to the American River, along the American river to Arden Park and then back home. 15 beautiful miles. Strangely enough, the ride wasn't any harder than any other time, I did OK. When I got home, I passed out on the couch for 2 hours and when I awoke I still felt tired. Magda again, "go jump in the pool, you'll feel better" I jumped in the pool, and what do you know, I felt better, I still do. Looks like I'm heading into the good side of the week. My head is starting to clear and my memory doesn't feel like a slice of swiss cheese.

Stay tuned, feeling groovy, bye for now:-)

Manhattan Subway, 1979

Sunday, July 1st 53/336

I went to bed last night at 10:30 and got up at 8:00. Had breakfast did some emails and then went back to bed at 9:00 and didn't wake up until 1:00. That means that I slept a total of 13.5 hours. Not since I was a teenager has that happened. Needless to say, I now feel pretty good. I'm going to try to study for my next history test on Tuesday. It is very hard to stay focused as the meds impact my ability to concentrate and stay focused. I must say that it does provide me with a diversion from my tx. Magda went off on her bike ride to Folsom Lake and she'll probably do 35 miles today. She has found biking to be her salvation as it's the only thing that she finds calming and fulfilling. She got a new bike and she really tears on it.

My friends Jonathan and Gretchen are taking a trip around the world and they wrote us form Turkey. We are going to school on them and when I finish tx, Magda and I will do the same trip, or something close. Jonathan is in the same boat as I as he too has the hep C. He too is undicided as to treat or not to treat. Everyone reacts so differently to the drugs that it's hard to tell. Some people, like me have mild sides while some people have dibilitatiing sides every day. Still others have good days and bad days. One never knows until one steps up and does a jab. My plan was to give it a try and if it made me too sick, I would just quit. Fortunately, I think I'll be able to go the distance, twice if need be. One key to tolerating the treatment is not having to work. I think those of us on treatment who need to work during tx have a particularly hard time of it. I know I would. Bye for now.

Bridge Lights, 2002