Monday, December 10th 214/336

Today's post is canceled due to domestic unrest. @!#$^&$#*&%$#@

You can't live with them and you can't shoot them!

Sunday, December 9th 213/336

Today I’m having one of those days where my grip on reality is tenuous. What’s real and what’s not? The holidays are always a little confusing for me as everyone seems to get so stressed out over money and diminished expectations. M started things off with a bang by stating that I was not to sign her name to the Christmas card that I was sending to my step-daughter and her husband; merry Christmas to you too!. The night before, M’s friend stayed the night and she paced around the house mumbling Hari Krishna for hours, totally oblivious to the effects it was having on any one else’s well being. At one point she stuck her face in the crack in our front door and mumbled Hari Krishna for another hour. She got up in the morning and didn’t pick up after herself and off she went. Her behavior sent me off the reservation and the interferon is playing tricks with my perception of reality. Is it OK to allow a brainwashed cult member to take over my house? I think not, but I can’t be sure because of the insanity of the meds. Stay tuned for more Christmas cheer on the wonder drug interferon. All is well and bye for now.

Saturday, December 8th 212/336

Today we got our tree.

Friday, December 7th 211/336

Woke up tired so I went back to bed at 10:00 and got up, feeling groovy, at 12:30. Starbucks, walked the dog to the river and then came home. I spent the afternoon catching up on bills. My sponsee child in Haiti sent me a drawing so I spent a couple hours making her one and sent it to her along with a little present. M and I went to Whole Foods and did the week’s shopping and tomorrow we will by and decorate our Christmas tree. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Today I got my paycheck from Kaiser for my partcipation in the Scherring Plough study. So far I'm up to $250.00. What a change for health care, they pay you to be sick,

Magda’s teacher forgot that that she excused M for our trip to NYC. Forgot about the note we gave her and said we have to write another one as she was going to flunk her. To make matters worse she only gave her 20 minutes for the make up test. What a creep! I have felt good today so I’ll take it where I can get it. All is well and bye for now.

Greece 2002

Thursday, December 6th 210/336 Shot #31

210 days into treatment and today I feel as though it never happened. I have had 4 great days in a row where I haven’t been tired or sick. Peg and Riba must really enjoy getting out of town. We had a really fun trip and I caught a big break the last few days. Went to bed at 11:00 and got up at 5:45 and I wasn’t tired at all. Strange brew interferon and Rebetol. Today, I am very optimistic about having the perseverance to endure another 126 days. I take my 31st shot tonight so all this will probably change tomorrow. I think that meeting with my hepsie buddies has reenergized me. It’s so great to know that there are people I can lean on who have finished and new hepsies who I can show the way. The waiting is the worst part and there are some bad times but all in all it’s been much easier than I had anticipated. And, the virus is undectable.

The flight left on time and we arrived at 12:20pm. We grabbed a cab to my loft, picked up my truck and beat it up to Carmichael to our house in the trees by the river. I did my shot with my left hand while riding in the car as I needed a thrill, isn’t it that sad that it’s come to that. I was so happy to see my dog; he’s like my kid. Unpack, bath, and bed. All is well and bye for now.

Wednesday, December 5th 209/336

Either he cold weather agrees with my treatment or I’m having a very good week. I have had very few sx’s the last 2 days, except for a little “Rain Man” brain fog; thank you Magda Van Brunt. I feel like I should stay another week, rather than going home tomorrow. The car will pick us up at 6:45 for an 8:45 flight out of JFK to SFO. We drive from SFO to Carmichael so M can make it to her 6:00 class. Big ass day for the kid tomorrow!

Woke up feeling hell’a groovy. Starbuck’s then M and I went to Rockerfeller Center to see the Christmas decorations and they were Fabu. I took the F train to Brooklyn and had lunch with my past workmate Myrel Glick. She was so kind, she said that none of my agents ever knew what a good thing they had going working for me until they worked for someone else. She said they all it realize now. She thanked me for so many years of an enjoyable environment. She really touched my heart. We had sushi lunch and she has sold 13 properties in a year. She is very good and works hard. Took the subway home and then M and I went to Blossom restaurant for dinner. M approved and we had a great time living the New York life style for a few days. All is well and bye NYC for now.

Self Portrait, 1976

Monday, December 4th 208/336

I slept for 12 hours and I feel much better today, no real sides to speak off. We took the subway to Soho and got a lot of our Christmas shopping done. Took the subway uptown and we got an express. We couldn’t get off until we were in Queens. Got off and walked across the tracks and got back on the Downtown train and got off at 53rd. We went to a Restaurant named Tao, a real see and be seen place. M hated her food so much she almost cried. $80.00 out the window. We next went to the apple store and bought some itunes gift cards. M was still hungry so we had to go back to the “never again” Candle Café. They did better this time and M was happy with the “way the food tasted on my tongue” We took a cab home and I took a little rest. M is very bored so she is coloring her hair auburn. I had a good day today, almost like the old days. The cold weather energizes me and offsets the fatigue. Tomorrow it’s off to Brooklyn to have lunch with my ole buddy Myrel Glick. All is well and bye for now.

Christina and Lamisse, my step daughters, Maui, 1998

Monday, December 3rd 207/336

I really overdid it yesterday and I paid the price today. I woke up early and out of it. All the activity and the time change and the flight left me tired and brain fogged. We went to lunch at a great little Japanese restaurant and then M and I went to Loman’s and C21 for shoes. None caught her eye. Tomorrow it’s off to Soho. We took the train to Catham, New Jersey to see my brother and his family. While we were in the station M decided that she saw a similarity between my “brain fog” behavior and that of the character played by Dustin Hoffman in “Rain man”. Ha ha, what a wit. The visit and dinner in NJ was fun and then we caught the train home at 9:00. We had another little incident at the Penn station. The conductor announced the end of the line and said for all to get off. Me and everyone else got off the train except for M. I waited and waited for her on the platform but she was not to be found. I figured that she must have taken the other door and that she would be upstairs waiting, not! I got a phone call and asked her where she was. She said that she was still on the train and the shift was changing. I screamed, “Get off the fucking train”. “But why, where are you?” Again, “Get off the fucking train, you’re going back to New Jersey, come upstairs”. She said, “I’m not doing anything until you come and get me.” “Come to the sidewalk, I don’t know where you are”. She said, “this is the last time I travel with you on this medication”. Oh yeah, “at least I had enough sense to get off the fucking train!” You can imagine the rest, “Chemo Brain” and “Polish” jokes were exchanged. Abandonment was also mentioned as one of my less admirable qualities. I can’t wait for this day to end and to go to sleep for 12 hours. All is well and bye for now

Iris(cured), TL(30 weeks undetectable) M & Jim(Non Hepsies) Laurie(starts soon) Teah(took last shot, #72 Saturday, 60 weeks undetectable)

Sunday, December 2nd 206/336

What a wonderful day. Got up early and walked to Starbuck’s while it was lightly snowing. Our friends called and we had lunch at a place in the lower village. New York to the max. Iris braved a four hour bus ride from Baltimore at 6:30min the morning. Teah and her twin sister took the subway from Brooklyn and Jim and Laurie drove in from Pennsylvania. It was nice to actually have face time with my internet hepsies after a year of blogging, emails and forums. After lunch we went to the Metropolitan Museum and mostly got to know each other. I love them all. M and Jim, the non hepsies, shared their experiences as caregivers. Laurie starts soon and she has nothing to worry about with Jim at her side. We all went our separate ways and M and I went to our favorite restaurant for dinner, the Candle Café. M was disappointed with the food and says she’s done, we’ll see about that. After dinner we went and saw “No Country For Old Men”. We both liked it. Tomorrow it’s shoe shopping for M and she says she’s going to buy 4 pairs, she’ll be lucky to find 1. At 4:00, we take the train to New Jersey to have dinner with my brother and his wife and my niece and nephew, very sweet kids. All is well and bye for now.

The Metropolitan Museum

Saturday, December 1st, 205/336

I had to wake up early today as it’s a fly day. M wanted me to go with her to Peet’s for coffee but I held my ground. I had to play the “I’m going to cry card” and, strange as it seems, it worked and off to Peet’s she went. This trip is going to be a lot of fun. We each bought new cold weather coats online from Paragon Sports in NYC. They are very warm and very light weight. Our friend David owns a limo company in SF and he complimented us a ride to SFO, We got free 1st class tickets from miles and we trade our loft in SF for Nigel’s loft in NYC. It’s big and funky and the price is right.

I was questioned about my peg-intron syringe at security. I said that I had sharps and he asked “What’s that?” I just said I was on chemo and I needed it. He put it through the scanner 4 times, called his super and then asked me what was around it. I said, a box and an ice pack. Off I went,

The pilot was a real stickler with the seat belt sign and I had to chance an arrest to use the rest room, The crew was understanding and I got away with my infraction. We arrive at 7:30, take the cab to the loft, and then settle in. I like flying and I don’t feel any worse from my tx. Like I told my GP, Mary Pat Pauly, I can be tired on the couch or on a plane or in NYC, it doesn’t matter where I am, I’m still going to be tired so I have decided to power through and make the best of it. Tomorrow is the Hepsie lunch and it should be a lot of fun. We’re meeting with Tea Star Witch, who takes her 72nd and last shot tonight, Uncertain, who has treated and is now cured, and Laurie, who takes her first jab next week; I’m in for 30 weeks out of 48. I’d rather not do this but there is a lot of data out showing age 65 as the age when the Hepsie really takes over and destroys one’s liver. I guess that’s why my other GP said I had 4 or 5 years before I got in trouble. Let’s hope it woks, so far, so good, I think I’m around 65% for a permanent cure based on my EVR(early viral response) at 8 weeks. That’s up from 45% at the start. All is well and bye for now.


Battery Park, Lower Manhattan, 1998

Friday, November 30th 204/336

For the 1st time in my treatment, I had a reaction to my injection last night. I started shivering in the middle of the night and I woke up with chemo brain. Starbuck's, dog to the river for our daily 2 mile walk. Tonight, we're off to SF as our flight leaves for NYC out of SFO at 11:30 on Saturday. Sunday is the Hepsie lunch, Monday is off on the train to Chatham, New Jersey to see my brother and his family. Tuseday is a free day except for dinner at M's favorite restaurant. Wednesday, I take the Subway to have lunch with Myrel Glick, we used to work together before she moved back to Brooklyn. Only 132 more days of tx. All is well and bye for now.

The view out our office window

Thursday, November 29th 203/336 Shot #30

Today I got up at 7:30 and got ready to see my scherring-Plough study doctor at Kaiser at 9:30. When I got there I asked my nurse if I could take my shot through the airport security. She quickly said, tell'em you got da hepsie and you'll be surprised at how quickly they get you on the airplane". Stupid me, I asked, "What's da hepsie?" She kept saying it and I still didn't understand. "Tell them you have Hep C and they won't even talk to you because they're afraid you'll give it to them". Oh, I get it, I got da hepsie, duh!

M and I have been together for going on 7 years. When we met, she was 24, and now she's almost 32. She has evolved into a woman over the years and now she's evolving into an analyst and guess who her patient is? yes, that's right, me! She is analyzing my 59 year old ass to death. So many questions about my childhood. I hated my parents, my father was an abusive, absentee alcoholic. My mother tried her best but she was a prescription drug addict who was a nurse in a practice with 3 surgeons. She was lacking in parenting skills to say the least. Add this too, they didn't like each other, and you come up a little short in childhood. So what do you want to know again?

When I went to the park today, a commercial came on the radio and it had a barking dog in it. My dog Billy went nuts looking for it, I almost crashed. Oh well, people should have their drivers license suspended when they're on this crap.

24 week test results

Viral Load=undectectable >30
Hgb=12.7
Wbc=2.48
Plats=190

All is well and bye for now

Sigmund Freud

Wednesday, November 28th 202/336

Talk about one day at a time. Living through tx is very similar to getting sober, which I did 15 years ago, I'm surprised I even have a liver, given the 30 years of abuse it experienced. Every day is a challenge. Last night I had the weirdest dreams, I kept running into people I know and all I would say is that "I couldn't wait to go home and go to bed as I was so tired". Well I guess that pretty well describes the fatigue portion of my treatment. It's so pervasive that it has embedded itself in my sub-conscience. Because I spent the night dreaming about how tired I was, I didn't get out of bed until 11:30. The dog started looking at me and whining at 10:00. The cat started to meow and rub her whiskers in my face. Under the covers I went, no use, the dog would let out a measured bark every 5 minutes. That didn't end it, M came home from school, went and got me a Frappachino at Starbuck's, handed it to me, and said to get up and walk the dog to the river. I told her to do it as I didn't think I was going to make it out the door today, wrong!. She gently removed my blankets, that didn't matter until she forced me to put on a sweater. She's as tall as I am and twice as strong so it was off to the river once again. The dog was happy as was I. The rest of the day was ho hum, just like yesterday and tomorrow except that I go to the study doctor at 9:30 tomorrow and I take shot #30. That's life in the slow lane, all is well and bye for now.

Off to the Big Apple on Saturday, 5th & 57th, 1998

Tuesday, November 27th 201/336

Today I had enough energy to do the usual and then I took my truck to Jiffy Lube for overdo service. This brought up many questions which taxed my brain. Too many decisions on interferon runs one down. As strange as it seems, my trip to Jiffy Lube exhausted me. Should I spend the money on a truck with 70,000 miles or should I sell it and buy a new one. Yes the oil needs changing but do I need to change the transmission fluid and the fuel filter for $160.00? How much is true and how much is real and how much is up sell? I used to run a company with 50 people working for me and decisions were sound and they came fast. Now, decisions on tx are a challenge. Even something as mundane as Jiffy Lube is a challenge for me. The interferon is a window into what it will be like when I'm in my 80's, kind of an unwanted sneak preview. I can't wait to be finished but I still have so far to go. OK, go with the flow, it's only money, do the extras. I started to get chemo sick and I couldn't believe how long they took to do the work. I went home and was sick for 2 hours and then I ate dinner and bathed and I felt better. I don't know how people work a 40 hour week on this crap. All is well and bye for now.

The Lucci's, 1968

Monday, November 26th 200/336

Great day today, I almost felt normal. I awoke at 7:30, had breakfast and then went back to sleep until 10:45. M's teacher excused her for our trip to NYC based on her condition of employment with "Terry Lee Investments", a totally non existent entity. Whatever works is what I always say. Today is 200 days, I glad I've made this far without too much trouble. My virus is undectectable and my bloods are OK. I'm coping well enough with the sides so I have a lot to be thankful for. I have made many friends in cyber space and they have been invaluable on my journey. M and I are headed to NYC on Saturday to meet Iris, Laurie, Jim, and Tea and I think it's great. We have all helped each other in our own way.

I got a half a dozen things done today that I have been avoiding due to brain fog. E mail question to CPA about depreciation, bought a chair on line at Room and Board for the loft, like that.

Terry Van Brunt, aka TVB, aka M's ex husband, is off to Thailand in January to bulid a house on his land in Koh Samui. Our friend Sven, lives on $10.00 a day and calls a tent home, came over last night and TVB is trying to get Sven to come to Thailand to help build the house. Maybe UC can send her future ex so he gets out of her hair, just kidding. I am toying with the idea of going to see him in March to break up the end of tx, I wonder if he will have a refer for my syringes, stay tuned. All is well and bye for now

Bumper Cars, Santa Cruz, 1979

Sunday, Novemeber 25th 199/336

Well, tomorrow will be 200 days into tx. As Jerry Garcia once said, "What a long strange trip it's been!" Thanks Jerry, you are partially at fault here. It's a wonder any of us are still alive after all the misbehaving we did. Of all the people I hung with during the summer of love in SF, we all have the Hep C, except for those who are already dead from cirrosis or liver cancer. The ones I know of, Bob Alacia (AKA the Snake), Skip Chambers, Albert Patane, and Sal Sabella (killed in a shoot out with the police). And then there's the suicides, Tom Balestrieri, Nick Paolini, Brad Paulsen, Roy Buell, and my dear friend Jimmy Plaja. I'll let the dead rest in peace.

Those were very hard times, our government was trying to kill us by drafting us and sending us to Viet Nam. We would all get incredibly fucked up before we went to the draft board. That worked for awile and then they drafted me anyway. I told them I wasn't interested and they let me off.

Oh well, enough about how I find my self 199 days into tx. Starbuck's, dog to the river, 3 hour nap, bath, dinner, empty the dihwasher (my permanent job), Sven and Magda over for a visit. Anti biotics are kicking my ass, when they should be saving my ass. All is well and by for now.

Jerry Garcia

Saturday, November 24th 198/336

We got up early today and went to Peet's, and then on to the Bridge and home to Carmichael. I sat in the back seat with the dog and we maid ourselves a little bed and we laid down and had a nice ride home. I love going to SF and I love coming home to Carmichael. I run myself ragged in SF and then I recuperate in Carmichael. When the loft was for sale, the stagers took the electronics out of the downstairs and when we took it off the market, we left it that way. Low and behold, Magda now loves the loft as we spend intimate time together deep in discussions about the world and the things in it. It was as simple as that. You ladies never cease to amaze us men. Yeah, I know it goes both ways, I have a friend and she talks about men like this, "You can't live with them and you can't shoot them!"

I started my anti-biotics when I got home and we'll see how it goes. My regular doc is on vacation so I'll go into my Hep C study doc and see what she says. I got chemo brian this afternoon, always happens on Saturday but now I'm OK. Tomorrow, one of M's school mates is coming to visit to talk to me about her options involving Hep C. At this point, I feel comfortable discussing her situation as I'm very well versed on the subject. All is well an by for now.

My cat climbed into the bath tub with me this afternoon

Friday, November 23rd 197/336

Yesterday was a lot of fun. We all went to Millenium vegetarian restaurant and it was Fabu! My wallet is $500.00 lighter but I feel it was worth it. My grandsons, 10 & 12, were so well behaved. My shot went well, last night was a little restless but I woke up at 9:30 and I feel good. Today, TVB and I are going to MOMA, maybe the movies and dinner at Saha with David, Ann, TVB, MVB, me, and maybe Jesse Fowler. MOMA always seems to make me sick with Chemo brain, I don't know why. We visited a frozen car that was in a freezer and we had to wear blankets to get in. M wanted to go Downtown shopping, big mistake, the people were 20 deep everywhere we went. Macy's should be very happy. I have yet another staph infection in the usual spot, so it's off to the emergency room tommorrow when we get to Sacramento. This is the 3rd major infection I have had in 29 weeks. All is well and bye for now.

Thursday, November 22nd 196/336 Shot #29

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Wednesday, November 21st 195/336

Great day all in all. Starbucks, walk to the river etc. M's teacher said she would fail her if she went to NYC unless she had a note from a doctor or her employer. Being as she has her real estate license under my brokers license, I had to write a note saying that her attendance is a condition of her employment. We'' see how that flies. Off to SF. All is well and bye for now.

Wild Turkeys near my house in Carmichael. Photo Credit Lezlie Sterling